Does the other woman in the affair feel smug at the idea of breaking up a family?
Many wives would love to know what the other woman is thinking after the affair is over. Many assume that the other woman was conceited for taking a man from her family and was indifferent to the idea that she was potentially breaking up a family. Many wives imagine women who set out to tempt married men to leave their homes.
These wives might say something like: “I have never seen the woman he cheated on my husband with. I know she is somewhat younger. I imagine her as conceited and conniving. My husband said he did not hide the fact that he was married. , but apparently, this didn’t bother her at all. In fact, my husband finally confessed that she almost saw it as a challenge: getting a tough man to cheat on me. When I became suspicious of the affair, he tried to break it off, but she tried so hard not to let this happen. I really don’t want to talk to her or seek her out, but I must admit I wonder what she thinks about all this. I wonder if she feels triumphant because she finally exhausted a married man and has potentially destroyed a family. There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I have the ability to make her regret it or anything. But out of my own curiosity, I wonder how smug she feels right now. Is it the common presumption of all women? You are cheating with men who are already. Have you spoken for yourself? “
Honestly, it varies. Just as the personalities and motivations of all of us are different, the same is true of women in this situation. Sometimes I hear from them and some are really sorry. Some did not intend to start the relationship. On the other side of the coin, some just didn’t take the relationship that seriously. They were just looking for pointless fun and therefore they don’t have strong feelings one way or another. And yes, there are those women who see it as a challenge or a game to tempt or cheat with married men. And these are the women who can feel like they’ve won an award when they get him to cheat and who feel like they’ve lost something when the affair is over.
I understand why you want this information. I used to have the same kinds of questions after my own husband’s infidelity. But I’ll tell you an unfortunate secret. What the other woman thought or felt is really irrelevant to her bottom line. Thinking about her or thinking about her is not the best thing for you. Nor is it fantasizing about revenge. Frankly, the best possible revenge is to move on with your life and restore your own happiness, however it comes and whatever it may be.
I know it might seem very easy for me to suggest that you try to get her out of your life and move on. But I say this because it is a lesson I learned. The longer you keep thoughts about her, the more you will prolong the pain and your own healing. It’s easy enough to wallow in misery and depressing thoughts after an affair, but all this does is hurt you more and for a longer period of time. The sooner you can distract yourself by working on yourself and moving forward, the sooner you can get it out of your mind. When you do this, healing is easier and faster, which should really be your goal.
I know it is very painful to suspect that the other woman felt that she “won” or that she hit you by turning your husband’s head. But think about it for a second. What did you really win? She had a quick, pointless relationship with a man who already belonged to someone else. She had no chance of having a lasting relationship because he tried to end it when there was a danger that you would find out. That had to hurt instead of feeling triumphant. The truth is, most of the time, the adventure ends eventually. Yes, it can feel great for everyone involved for a short period of time. But it almost never ends well. And when it is over, both parties must face the reality of what they have done and accept responsibility for it. In reality, they are seeing a failed, doomed, and shameful relationship. And honestly, that can’t feel too good. In fact, it can feel like regret, fear, and guilt. Neither of these emotions feels particularly triumphant.
