get out of sugar hell
I was recently in New York City, standing in line at Starbucks when my friend pointed out this sign: “Make yourself happy: choose a sweet option or a fat-free option.” As tempting as all the treats in the case behind the sign looked, I had to laugh at the irony of the words on the sign.
Nothing against Starbucks (I’m a big fan of their chai tea mixos), because they’re only a small part of a huge industry selling false messages about food, but I have to set the record straight. Low fat will not make you happy. Neither will a sweet indulgence. Temporarily, maybe. In the long run, never.
We are born into a world where we receive mixed messages about food, especially sugar. On the one hand: don’t eat sweets, they are bad for you! They will make you fat! They will make your teeth rot! They will give you diabetes! And on the other hand: eat sweets, they will make you happy! O creative! Or inspired! Let’s celebrate with cake! Here’s a piece of candy, now please stop crying! Or here’s a cookie because you were good! I love you, here’s chocolate!
Pretty powerful—and confusing—messages that infiltrate our brains pretty much from the moment we’re born (and then made a hundredfold worse by advertising). The message is this: while sugar can be bad for our health, it can make us very happy, and without it, our lives can feel exhausted, depressing, loveless, and lonely.
Although we all know that excess sugar is not good for us, many of my clients, readers, friends, and people in the audience at my talks find this white substance (or another form of sugar, such as alcohol, white flour, or other rapidly carbohydrates absorbed from processed foods) addictive and compelling. Despite our best efforts of “willpower,” nearly everyone has experienced the “I NEED SOMETHING SWEET OR CRUNCHY OR ALCOHOLIC NOW” syndrome…that intense craving for some substance that brings us comfort, relief, or joy. And the reason is: it works! It really does… that is, it works temporarily.
Like a drug, sugar (and its partners in crime) literally affects our brain so that we immediately feel relieved, calm, and happy. The problem is that this feeling doesn’t last, and we often find ourselves later feeling just as, or more, depressed, upset, or irritable. No amount of willpower works when our brains are working against us.
And here’s another crazy thing: Many of us are so used to feeling irritable, anxious, mildly (or intensely) depressed, tired, unfocused, and full of cravings, that this state of being feels almost “normal.” But let me assure you: this is not normal. When our brains and bodies are balanced, our normal state is to feel good. Energetic. Calm. In focus. Satisfied and fulfilled and nourished by our food and by our lives.
Now, I’m not blaming sugar for every emotional or physiological problem we experience. Anxiety, depression, irritability, lack of concentration and cravings are often multiple and complex. And I have to admit, I’m hesitant to even write about this because I don’t want to perpetuate any “bad food/good food” mentality you may have. But as a therapist and as someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety, and eating problems, I am convinced that the effect of sugar on our brain chemistry must be understood if we are to break out of some of these painful cycles.
Let’s use my day yesterday and my initial descent into “sugar hell” as an example of what could and often does happen when we eat sugar. I started my day as usual: some protein, fat, and complex carbs (a big dollop of peanut butter on a sprouted wheat bagel), which kept me pretty full and satisfied until lunch. At that time, my husband made grilled cheese for the kids that looked so good I couldn’t resist. This is not my typical lunch and although it filled me up physically, I didn’t feel entirely satisfied. I knew I needed more protein and some vegetables, but we were busy so I skipped.
I had an amazing piece of cake at my daughter’s birthday party and enjoyed every bite, but later found myself nibbling on the snack outside. And nibbling. And more bites. (Still hungry from lunch and triggered by the sugar in the cake). I couldn’t really stop, which, these days, is pretty unusual for me. When we left the party and got home, I found myself going through the cabinets. I ate the popcorn my husband made for the kids. I ate some leftover cake (I just straightened the edges a few timesJ). I picked out some leftover Chinese food.
I was actually in quite an intense state, searching, physically full, but dissatisfied, and noticing my mood change from calm and stable to slightly irritable and nervous. And because I’ve been in “sugar hell” before and am very familiar with what I need to do to get out of it, I was able to stop. It is at these moments that I wonder what I should do to “correct” my body chemistry. Even though I was physically full, I knew I needed real fuel for my brain to get out of the roller coaster I was on. I knew, for myself, that fuel had to come in the form of protein (and I wanted red meat) and fat. I ate well, watched a funny movie with my husband, and climbed into bed, finally sated, physically and emotionally.
If I hadn’t been in tune with my body, or if I hadn’t really tuned in and listened, this “sugar hell” (or cycle of craving and chewing and dissatisfaction with increased irritability and anxiety) could have continued for quite some time. time (and let me assure you, he has in the past – in fact, he used to LIVE in this place!). When we eat sugar, our blood sugar levels temporarily rise and we feel good, which then leads to a drop in blood sugar levels and an intense desire for MORE. Sugar can also temporarily increase our levels of serotonin (our “feel good” brain chemicals). But again, these feelings don’t last, and ultimately sugar and fake food (like a drug) depletes our bodies and brains so that over time, we feel less good (and feel like we NEED more sugar to feel better). better).
Unfair, I know. And I’m not suggesting that we never eat sugar again or that we never give it to our children. We need to balance our psychology and emotional response (the word NEVER tends to put us in a state of deprivation) with our biology and physiology (the physical effect of these foods on our bodies and brains), so that we can find a way to relate to the world. sugar (and its counterparts) effectively. So that we can become aware of the effects of these foods on our body and arm ourselves against intense and continuous cycles of tiredness, irritability and cravings.
Here are some tips that can help prevent “sugar hell” in you or your children, or help you get out of it if you find yourself there:
1) TUNE in your body. Find out what works for you (and your kids) and what keeps your blood sugar levels and brain chemistry stable. Notice which foods trigger cravings, difficult behavior, fatigue, or irritability, and minimize them.
2) Notice what emotional states can trigger sugar cravings: loneliness? Stress? Boredom? Tired? Start tackling them with non-food solutions and get help if you need it.
3) Most people benefit from some combination of high-quality protein, fat, and carbohydrate at every meal and snack to stabilize blood sugar levels.
4) If you are going to eat sugar or processed carbohydrates, arm yourself by eating proteins and/or fats (a piece of cheese, some nuts, some slices of turkey, for example), previously.
5) DO NOT skip meals, ever.
6) Avoid fake sweeteners (like NutraSweet, Saccharin, Splenda, etc.), which just “whet” your appetite for more sweets.
7) Avoid packaged foods that are labeled low-fat. In fact, don’t be afraid of fat at all: most unprocessed fats are GOOD for your body and brain (more on that another time!).
8) If you find yourself in the middle of a sugar binge or “sugar hell”, stop and ask yourself: “What is the next thing I can do to change this cycle?” Then do it.
9) Do not punish yourself for anything. Especially for not having “enough willpower”. Remember, his cravings aren’t about willpower, it’s about the way his body tries to tell you that he’s unbalanced in some way.
10) Stop thinking about sweets as a reward. Find non-edible treats for you and your children.
If you find yourself struggling to end the sugar cycle, I’d love to see you in one of my classes.
