How do I know my husband still loves me after cheating on me?
I often hear of women who are trying to pick up the pieces after finding out about their husband’s affair or cheating. The other day, a wife contacted me and said, in part, “My husband says he’s sorry and will end the affair. He says he’ll do whatever it takes to save our marriage. He swears he loves me and has never stopped loving me.” love me. But how do I know if he’s telling the truth? Obviously, he lied to me about the affair, so how can I trust him now? How do I know if he really still loves me or if he’s just trying to save me? appearances after cheating?”
These questions are so common. It’s hard to know if you can believe anything your husband says, since the reason you’re in this mess is because he was dishonest and he betrayed you. However, I have a definite opinion on whether you can trust a husband when he says he still loves you after he cheated on you, which I will discuss in the next article.
There really are some men who never stopped loving their wives when they cheated on them: Wives often can’t begin to understand how you can love someone and then betray them. We do not understand this, and we cannot comprehend it, because we ourselves would never betray our spouse. Our mind simply cannot go to this place in the same way that our actions and behaviors would never lead us down this path.
However, I have many men and husbands who have cheated on me also visit my blog. Many send me private messages. And, I don’t know them and I’m not his wife. They have no incentive or motive to lie to me. I’m certainly not going to speak to his wife on her behalf since I don’t know any of them. But what they almost always tell me is how sorry they are and how ashamed they are of their behavior and that their number one priority right now is to figure out how to fix this.
Now, serial cheaters or men who don’t mind making up with their wives probably won’t find my site, so I don’t hear from these men. I’m not saying they don’t exist because I know they exist. But I also know that many men are capable of separating the other person from their wives and from their marriages. They often don’t see the affair as a real relationship that involves emotional give and take. They see it as a response to a personal crisis that was separated from his wife and her marriage.
And they often don’t anticipate anyone getting hurt. But when someone gets hurt, and that someone is you, it’s often only then that they realize what they’ve done. Suddenly they realize what a big mistake they have made. And they are being honest when they say that they never stopped loving you and that one thing had nothing to do with the other, at least in their own minds.
These are usually the type of men who cheat just once and then when they realize the devastation it caused, they vow to never cheat again and to reassess their marriage and priorities so they can fix this. And it is from these same men that you see certain behaviors, which I will discuss later.
It is your husband’s actions, not his words, that will show her that he still loves her after making the mistake of being unfaithful: We all know that most people will say and do anything to get out of a situation like this. And you also know that you have to take what he says with a grain of salt, because very recently he was lying to you. But often it is a husband’s actions over time that tell him more than any words could.
A man who is truly sorry for being unfaithful and still loves his wife will change his priorities to put marriage and his wife first. He will immediately sever all ties with the other person and change his schedule and clothes to be more in line with his values and his priorities for their marriage. He will do whatever it takes to help you heal and recover. He will be patient and not push you or do things that cause you additional pain.
You will see your changing priorities in your everyday life. He will not be reserved or resentful. He will know that this situation is of his own making and it is his own fault. And he takes full responsibility for this. He doesn’t imply that any of this was your fault or that you could have prevented it. He knows that he was the one who made this mistake and he knows that it is his job to rectify this.
And, he doesn’t do this through words. Instead, he tells you by making you his priority, offering you reassurance, giving both of you the help or tools you need, and reminding you, every day, no matter how angry and distant you are, that he’s going to wait. this for as long as it takes because he knows that you are worth it and that you are what he really wants.
He will show you that he believes this over time by keeping these promises. He knows that he has a lot to do to catch up, but he will discover that he is responsible, he is willing to do whatever it takes and he knows that he has no right to set a timeline on this. Sometimes you will have to explain this to your husband. Some men mean well, but aren’t sharp enough to read your signals. It can be frustrating to explain this in detail, but honestly, it’s the only way to make sure you get what you need. It’s usually better to talk than to remain silent, disappointed, and resentful.
