How To Save Your Relationship After Cheating: 3 Steps On How To Start Fresh With A Clean Slate
When asking how to save their relationship after cheating, many people want to know how to start over from scratch. While starting over from scratch may seem like a magical solution, it actually takes time, patience, effort, and persistence. I hope the following 3 steps will help you restore and rebuild love, trust and good feelings in your relationship…
Step 1. Deal with your own emotions; Support your partner in dealing with their own emotions
Both people in a relationship may sincerely mentally want to start over from scratch, hoping that things will get better overnight. Some may even think that you can avoid the problem and continue with life as before… However, we are all emotional and feeling creatures.
Whether you’re the cheater or the hurt partner, both of you have feelings that need to be worked out and expressed if you truly want to salvage your relationship after cheating and work to rebuild a life together.
Do you want your relationship to be based on honesty? Then start by being honest about your own feelings first. If you and your partner don’t deal with the emotions surrounding this event, it can only lead to resentment and bigger problems down the road…
Step 2. Continually take steps to rebuild trust in your relationship
What does it mean to you to wipe the slate clean and start over? Does it mean that you are willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild trust in your relationship?
Just think about how your relationship started… Did it start with an immediate trust? Or was it built over time? Maybe you’ve never had to think about this before. But trust is created when people make small agreements together and stick to them. Trust is created when your partner knows what to expect from you. Now that cheating has happened, what do you think your partner can expect from you?
Saying that you are sorry and that you will change is not enough. You have to show them through your actions that you are willing to make amends. The quickest way to do this is to be completely transparent about what you do with your time and money. For example,
- Give them access to your email accounts
- Share your work schedule with them
- Answer your questions honestly,
- And much much more…
But perhaps the most powerful way to wipe the slate clean is the next step…
Step 3. Come to an agreement on preserving your relationship
At first glance, coming to an agreement about preserving your relationship is a simple task. However, the reality is that there are many aspects to their relationship. This means that you have to be more specific about what to agree on.
To give you a better idea, I’ll share the 4 areas that Dr. Frank Gunzburg suggests you agree on in his eBook’How to survive a scam‘:
- Agree that you love and appreciate each other and want to keep your partner in your life; they are willing to do whatever they can to make their relationship the best it can be.
- Agree to make your relationship a top priority in your life, putting it above all other activities (even if it means negotiating with your boss and family).
- Agree to communicate often and honestly, even if you’re not very good at it yet or it’s emotionally painful.
- That you will do what you can, to satisfy the needs of your partner.
