Music Inspiration – Dolly Parton’s "Better get to live"
In my work as a psychotherapist and life coach, I am always grateful for the many and varied sources of inspiration that come my way. The latest inspiring material I’ve come across is in music, in a relatively new song by country/pop star Dolly Parton, well known to her fans and peers for being so lighthearted that she refers to herself as the “Dolly Lama” for asking her advice on how to keep her perennially positive attitude. Condensed into one song, “Better Get to Livin'” (from her new CD, “Backwoods Barbie”) and featured in her new Broadway musical version of “9 to 5,” which will open soon in Los Angeles, Dolly the describes philosophy, available on iTunes.com. The letter goes like this:
“You better start living, giving, being willing and forgiving, because all healing has to start with you. You better stop whining, worrying, line up your dreams and then shine, design, refine until they come true.” And you’d better start living.”
As simple as these words are, they reveal a similar philosophy on self-empowerment that I often teach my clients as I encourage them to identify, invoke, strengthen, and implement the coping skills they need to meet life’s challenges head-on. One of the best strategies for any challenge is to be as relentlessly positive as possible, even if that’s hard to do. Earlier this year, when I was facing total hip replacement surgery of the left femur bone joint in my left leg due to HIV-related avascular necrosis (crumbling bone), I took this attitude to prepare for the surgery. I did a lot of exercise the week before surgery to be in top shape for my recovery and physical therapy. I was thankful for the not-so-bad food at the hospital, for the cute physical therapist, for the silly puns my fiancé played with me to pass the time, and for the nurses who took good care of me, I think, in part. due to the unrelentingly courteous and positive approach I took to them (I wanted them to be happy to answer my doorbell!). Later, I began my physical therapy not as a chore, but as a joy that the exercises would restore me to full athletic physical function, which they did, after only 12 weeks of constant and diligent work. I don’t think it would have gone as fast or as well if I hadn’t been practicing Dolly’s advice, and this was before I knew about her song!
In daily practice with clients, I often quote an inspirational song, story, script, or poem that I think might help them, or ask them to see if they can be inspired by a piece of music or literature that inspires them. Drawing inspiration from the materials we are exposed to and applying that material to challenging situations is one aspect of emotionally managing the challenges that life inevitably throws our way.
Dolly’s song goes on to suggest that if “your life is a mess, your house is a mess, and your wardrobe is outdated, all your plans keep failing; overweight, underpaid, underappreciated, I’m no guru.” but I’ll tell you, this I know to be true: you better start living, giving, thinking a little more about being a little more willing, to make a better way – You better start caring, sharing, trying, smiling – the the day we are born, we start to die, don’t waste a minute of this life – start living”. All these “in” verbs are a motivational list of how we need to boost our attitudes of self-empowerment. If something is not right, dig deeper in you yourself and ask yourself: “What do I need to evoke in myself to improve things?” Or, “What do I need to ask others to improve things?” Know the internal resources we need (motivation, assertiveness, resistance, respect for oneself self, effort, belief, inspiration, compassion) and the resources of others (information, effort, wisdom, time, compassion, faith, trust, courage, patience) helps us gather the tools we need to make changes. , plus those we take p subtracted from others, is what makes the change in our lives.
Dolly’s more religious side suggests, “If it gets too rough, get down on your knees and pray, and do it every day.” For non-religious but perhaps more spiritual people, it may be about meditating, concentrating, releasing and believing. For people in AA, it’s about “surrendering” to a God of his understanding, or his Higher Power. Sometimes when the going gets really tough, our spirituality has to increase all the resources that are within us and those that are close to us. The anniversary of September 11, 2001 comes to mind, or when things happen that seem to take away everything we can give, and then some. When we really stretch ourselves in those moments, we grow.
Many song lyrics can inspire us, and other materials that I can explain in therapy or coaching. What songs inspire you? Listen, and live, so that you too can have the life you want!
