My girlfriend has stopped talking to me! What this silence means for your relationship
Your girlfriend has stopped talking to you. For a few moments, this can seem like a blessing of sorts, especially if it comes up in the middle of a heated argument. At any other time, it will give you serious concern, as it should. Part of being in a healthy, balanced, and fulfilling relationship is spending time talking to your partner every day. If several days go by and there’s no word from the woman you’re involved with, a big red flag should fly over your head. Their relationship is rapidly heading towards disaster. If you don’t fully understand what it means when your girlfriend suddenly vanishes into the distance, now is the time for you to get some much-needed insight into what she’s thinking and feeling.
If your girlfriend is suddenly out of sight and you haven’t heard a word from her, think back to the last time you spoke. Both of you have most likely left things on rocky terms. Sometimes an argument can get so out of hand that one person storms out and if there are two strong personalities involved, each may decide to wait for the other to make the first post-conflict decision. Your girlfriend may just be calming down from the verbal sparring you had. If that’s the case, my best suggestion is to wait at least a few days for her to sort out her feelings. Trying to get her to talk before she’s ready will probably just cause more friction and misunderstandings and you’ll be right back where you started with her ignoring you.
If your silence has been somewhat more gradual, that needs to be handled quite differently. When a woman slowly pulls away from the man she is involved with it is because she feels there is an emotional distance there. Just as some men don’t want to deal with the emotional ramifications of a confrontation about what’s missing in the relationship or what’s wrong with the connection, women don’t enjoy that either. Your girlfriend may feel that by plunging into the ether she will save you from the heartbreak you would surely feel if she boldly told you that she doesn’t like you that much anymore. You may see this as a cowardly way to end a relationship, but if you’re an emotional guy, she may see it as the only way to get out of it emotionally unscathed.
In any case, you cannot allow the woman you love to disappear without at least trying to understand her reasoning. Don’t make the mistake of approaching her with the attitude that you had no idea she wasn’t happy or fulfilled. Her silence is indication enough that she no longer gets what she needs from you. Tell her that you know she doesn’t feel like she used to and that you just want to understand. Don’t get defensive and don’t try to explain anything at this point. This is your opportunity to share what you are experiencing and what you feel is missing. If she handles this conversation from a place of understanding and compassion, she’ll see that she really wants to hear what she has to say and she wants to learn from it.
Reacting negatively when your girlfriend stops talking to you is the fastest route to a painful breakup with her. This is the woman you love, so show her that this is how you feel. If you reach out to her and give her the support she needs to be honest with you about what she’s currently feeling, she’ll open up and the deafening silence will be replaced with honesty and understanding.
