The ABC’s of a stress-free outlook
Stress doesn’t “just happen” to everyone. It is not an event that occurs outside the individual. It is an internal process and, like all internal processes, stress begins in our minds. How can you harness the power of your mind to prevent stress from leading to distress? It all starts with the ABC. The ABC’s of mental stress management are Awareness, Belief and Coping. If you can master this thought process, you’ve taken a big step forward on the road to wellness.
Awareness
Awareness is the key to any change process. Until you can make the connection between those anxious feelings, obsessive behaviors, or just treating yourself badly and stress, you can’t begin to change. Mindfulness means learning to pay attention to what is going on in your body and mind. It means paying attention to how you act and how you react. It means learning what triggers negative reactions in yourself. Ultimately, it means learning to catch yourself before engaging in destructive behaviors.
Not being aware of your reactions to stress triggers can be just as deadly as not being aware of traffic before stepping off the curb. Researchers tell us that it takes only 30 seconds for the human body to go through a full-scale stress reaction. What this means is that within 30 seconds of reacting in anger, you are allowing potentially lethal chemical and physiological changes to begin in your body. If you think of stress reactions as near-death experiences, you begin to see the tremendous impact of unawareness of our reactions to the many stressors in our daily lives.
Learn to listen to your body. Be aware of signs of stress. Do you feel your muscles start to tense up when you get close to that person who always seems to put pressure on you? Does the thought of balancing your checkbook make your mind go blank? These are signs of stress. Be aware of what is happening. Be aware of when it happens. This is the step in managing your stress.
But consciousness is more than being aware of events and reactions. It also means being alert to what is going on in your mind. What messages do you send to yourself in stressful situations? Be aware of what those messages are. You may want to keep a simple stress journal. Carry a small notebook or some index cards with you. When you feel yourself start to react, write down what triggered the response and how you responded. Try to capture what you are thinking at that moment. This information will help you select the most appropriate coping techniques for the stress in your life.
Finally, awareness includes the awareness that something is wrong with your thinking and behavior. You must be aware that there are other ways of thinking and acting. You should be aware that your current process may not be the best for you. Without the awareness that there is a problem and the awareness that you have other options, there is no possibility of change.
believe
Once you are aware of the need to change, you must believe that you have the power to change. You must believe that what you think, say and do influences your well-being.
Stress is a reaction, not an event. Your reactions are governed by your beliefs about yourself and about the world. Part of managing stress comes from what you believe about your ability to control your thoughts and your life. If, for example, your boss, spouse, or child approaches you in an aggressive and angry manner, you can react in one of two ways. You can believe that you have a problem or that you are to blame, or you can believe that they have a problem or are out of control.
Your belief determines who has control over your life at that moment. If you allow yourself to get angry or feel like you must have done something wrong, you are triggering a stress reaction. As you begin to physically react to the situation, you are also giving the other person control. In effect, you are putting your life in the palm of his hand. Is this what you want to do?
If you believe in yourself and your ability to stay calm, enter into conversations, and solve problems in your life, you can stay in control. You will not allow that stress reaction to start. If you think you can handle anything life throws at you, you can handle any problem. This does not mean that life will be wonderful all the time. What it does mean is that if you believe in yourself, you can minimize the effects of negative stress and make the best use of all your resources to meet challenges head-on.
coping strategies
When you are aware of your stress triggers and believe that you can reduce the negative effects of stress through your own thoughts and actions, you are ready to begin dealing with stress. Coping with stress means researching different stress management strategies and finding the ones that work best for you. This could include a wide range of physical and mental activities, from going to the gym to visualizing and creating counters.
