the art of toasting
Today one of my clients is inviting one of her good friends to a 40th birthday party. In fact, she used to date him and now they are good friends. She has the perfect dress, has provided the beautiful country club for the party and was now considering whether or not she too should host.
My response to her? ALWAYS raise a toast if you can!!!
First of all, whoever organizes the party has the responsibility of welcoming people to the event. It’s nice to introduce yourself publicly and welcome everyone. It also establishes your credibility when you speak in front of people.
Then it’s a chance to brag! When people see you completely collected in a somewhat stressful situation, they are impressed. They don’t know how much preparation when they’re behind the scenes. You can make it look like you pulled the toast out of nowhere!
When writing a toast, there are a few things to do that will make your job easier.
How do you want to find yourself? Do you want the toast to be fun, lighthearted and funny or do you want it serious? This will help you determine the “story” you will share during the toast.
How do you feel about the person? What do they mean to other people? How do people respond to them as individuals? Are they funny, eloquent, intelligent, do they dress very well, or are they excellent storytellers? Be specific and write down all the adjectives that can describe this person.
What is a funny story or really cool story you can tell about this person? Is there some secret passion that this person has that makes them spend too much time on something? Was there a moment when you two were together that impressed you or made you laugh? What story can you think of that EXPLAINS what this person is to you? This can be lighthearted or serious, depending on the tone you want to create in the room and with the toast.
Lastly, what does this person mean to YOU? Do you want to honor them? You love them? Do you admire them?
After you’ve prepared your toast, it should look like this:
“Welcome to our friend Clyde’s 40th birthday party. It’s great to see you all here. Those of you who know Clyde will know that he is determined, funny and successful. But there is one thing you may NOT know: Clyde!!
Tell a funny or touching story here… And when the laughter dies down…
“So tonight we want to honor you, Clyde, for who you are to all of us. We appreciate you, we love you, and we wish you many more happy, healthy years.”
The story you tell is extremely important. But even MORE important is how often you practice this speech! Practice it in front of the mirror dozens of times until the words roll off your tongue gracefully. Record as you practice and rewrite it as you go. Practice visualizing yourself in the room beforehand, and practice looking people in the eye so that during your speech you can do it easily. During the last part, when you honor the person, look them STRAIGHT in the eye with all the sincerity you can muster, to let them know that you really care.
If you do all these things, you will blow people away. The response you’ll get is “wow, I wish I could pull something like this out of my hat” and “that was a great toast… nice job.”
No one has to know that you practiced over and over until it felt right. No one has to know that you changed the toast dozens of times until you got the story right. But what you and everyone else will KNOW is that after you’ve delivered the speech and hit it out of the park, your status will be elevated.
By presenting an incredible toast, you will have created a great memory for the person you are honoring. And THAT is what it is all about, after all!
