The Minefield of Virgins, Whores, Marriage, Adultery and Divorce – Part 1
Why do I call this topic a minefield? This is why. This is what a commenter had to say on my website recently:
“Are you saying that marriage and divorce are a minefield? Why a minefield…because ‘man’ does it that way; or would you hold the position that the Scriptures are incomplete/unclear?”
Now, this comment is not as direct as it seems, and that is because it hides an agenda. What kind of agenda can you ask for? A self-righteous agenda is the answer to that. How did you do that? Easy, it’s all in his comment and summed up in his sentence: “because ‘man’ makes it so.”
Then follow that with: “Or would you hold the position that the Scriptures are not complete/unclear?” Can you identify the self-righteous terminology they give away? If not, here it is: “Or you would keep the job.” How is this term a gift, once again I hear you ask? It’s a giveaway because it’s either the classic gibberish-based logical response of the biblical intellectual or the classic spiritually dead response to a spiritually alive subject you really don’t know anything about. You see, dear readers, the men and women of The Truth never ‘take positions’. ‘Holding a position’ literally means one position amongst many other meaningless positions, so which is the right position and which is the wrong one? Both answer!! The Truth of the matter is this, The Truth is always right and never wrong – The Truth IS and has NO standing.
So let’s deal with your first expression: “You say marriage and divorce are a minefield, why a minefield?” This single question tells us immediately how his mind works, that is, legally or in a Law-based way: without grace. Later in our exchange it says this:
“Who’s the bachelor? The Virgin. Simple. No fuss. No Mosaic legality (whatever that means)”
He says there is no Mosaic legality, and yet that is EXACTLY his position on this whole issue. It’s all very black and white, virgins or non-virgins, or do this and don’t do that, with no mercy, compassion or justice involved in his words at all. Never mind that a repentant and saved harlot, a daughter of God, is just as eligible for marriage as a widow and no women being physical virgins. Here we can only see that this blind man of error has much to learn about Grace, Mercy and Forgiveness.
I would suggest that you study this story of the woman by the well that Yashua Messiah strikes up a conversation with and to the surprise of his apprentices (disciples):
John 4:16-18 (KJV) Jesus knows: Go, call your husband, and come here. 17 The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said to her: You have said well: I have no husband: 18 Because you have had five husbands; and the one you now have is not your husband: in that you said the truth.
Now, whatever this woman’s history and marital status, since we are not given all the details, we must assume that not all of her previous husbands are dead and even with regards to the man she currently lives with, Yashua Messiah states her that he is not her husband.
However, this is not the point I am trying to make. The point I am making is that Yashua Messiah did not jump right in with a tirade of do’s and don’ts or a stern rebuke against her for her past sinful lifestyle, even if that was the case. On the contrary, he immediately confronted her about the living water he was offering her instead of the water she was offering him from the well. Here He behaves consistently and backs up what he said elsewhere:
Matthew 18:11 (KJV) For the Son of man came to save that which was lost.
John 12:47 (KJV) And if anyone hears my words and does not believe, I do not judge him; because he did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.
So here we have the REAL reason for Yashua Messiah’s conversation with the woman with five husbands plus one who is not her husband, i.e. to save her, not judge or admonish her or establish the Law on virgins as the only women eligible for the marriage LOL.
Let’s take a look at your next statement: “because ‘man’ makes it so.” Err, well, yes, man does it that way, but isn’t that why Yashua Messiah came to save us? If man was dotting all the ‘I’s and crossing all the ‘t’s and behaving properly and marrying only virgins, would there have been any need for Messiah Yashua to come? I do not think. So what is matey’s point? because he responds to himself without even realizing that he has. He certainly doesn’t understand what Yashua Messiah was saying when he said this:
Matthew 5:27-28 (KJV) You have heard that it was said by the ancients, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her. already in her heart.
Here we have the best example of: “man doing it that way” There is, in the Holy Scriptures. The man does not even have to touch a woman for adultery to have taken place; he can do it in his mind and, more importantly, in his heart and the sinful act is done. So what chance does a man have? Do not answer any, except in the saving GRACE of Yashua Messiah. Can a man stop doing this by his own strength? No, if he’s a hot-blooded man, he can’t. To stop he must be Born of God and endowed with the Power of God-The Holy Spirit. So where does this leave us as far as my commenter is concerned?
Well, you’ll probably consider all my rhetorical comments like you said here:
“Please restate the question/point. Once again… I thought you were asking rhetorical questions for the most part.”
He will also say that we must obey the Law because the Holy Scriptures are complete and clear and Paul also makes it clear, but does he? Let’s tackle the topic of virginity first, because matey had this to say:
“Since I came to this understanding, it has opened my eyes to another important aspect, which is the need for virginity in marriage. (Deut 22:14)”
So here we see his self-righteous credentials on display once again as he quotes an Old Covenant Scripture to make a New Covenant point. Here is the Scripture:
Deuteronomy 22:14 (KJV) And they will give occasion to speak against her, and they will raise a bad name against her, and they will say: I took this woman, and when I came to her, I did not find her a servant;
Okay, so who are we dealing with here? Are these people saved or under the Law? Under The Law is the answer, which means that The Law must be respected. The thing is, is Paul dealing with people under the Law? Not at all, so what does Deuteronomy 22:14 have to do with Paul and his gracious teaching? Nothing, absolutely nothing, so why does Matey quote Deuteronomy 22:14? Answer, because he is a Pharisee of the 21st century.
Here is the New Covenant version of the above scenario. A born again man meets a born again woman and they develop a loving relationship and plan to marry. As they go out together, she confesses to him that before she repented and was baptized she had been somewhat promiscuous in his previous life and he admits to the same kind of sinful lifestyle and his openness to each other bonds them more strongly. How is this okay? Forgiveness and Grace in action.
1 Corinthians 7:25 (KJV) Now concerning virgins I have no commandment from the Lord; however, I give my judgment, as one who has reached the mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
Notice first of all that Paul HAS NO COMMANDMENT regarding virgins, but he gives his valuable opinion as someone who had been granted mercy by the Father, who called him to be faithful. Then, in the verses that follow, he states his advice as to what he feels would be the best course of action, that is, to remain single if possible.
1 Corinthians 7:27 (KJV) Are you bound to a woman? seeks not to be unleashed. Are you free from a wife? don’t look for a wife
Now what is he saying here? 1) If a man is attached to a woman, then try not to separate from her, which is very natural and good. 2) If a man separates from his wife, do not look for another wife. However, this point is simply what he himself would do in that situation and advises accordingly, but it is not set in stone and we are all different.
Elsewhere it says this:
1 Corinthians 7:7-9 (KJV) For I would like all men to be like myself. But each man has his own gift from God, one this way, and one this way. 8 I say, therefore, to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them to remain as I am. 9 But if you can’t contain yourself, marry, because it is better to marry than to burn.
Here he clearly says that he would prefer all men to be single like him, but he fully understands that men are not all equal and equal to women and that it is better to get married than to burn with lust and become susceptible to temptation and sin. All this is very simple and elegant, not overwhelming. Notice, too, that there is no mention of virgins here, just healthy men and women who should marry rather than burn with lust.
OK, that’s it for Part 1, in part two I’ll deal with harlots and adultery.
