UFO: futuristic concepts and the end of the world
I was sitting on the front porch wondering if I should wash the truck or pick the last of the tomatoes from my single vine that has produced about a trillion marble-sized tomatoes this summer.
I learned last year that you only need one tomato plant in Idaho unless you want to supply (no disparaging comments here) Wal-Mart®. I accidentally picked a plant that produces those little tomatoes that I didn’t like. I like the big ones that send juice running down your cheeks when you bite into them.
My granddaughter, L, loves the little ones and I found that if you get a handful and pop them in your mouth at the same time, like she does, you can have a great tomato sensation. I went to my plant and grabbed a handful. It was then that Xrytspet appeared.
“I don’t see how you can eat those things!”
I told him: “Go away, Xrytspet!”
She said, “I came to help. Is this how I should be treated?”
“What do you want, Xrytspet?”
“I’ve come to help you with that item you’re thinking about.”
As is his custom, he sat on my lap. I said, “Get off my lap!”
“I want to help you with that Future-Concepts – Do you have futuristic dreams of changing the world? Put even your most eccentric or innovative ideas here! article for the new category http://ezinearticles.com.
“Do you feel when I need you to help me write, Xrytspet? I have my own ideas for the article.”
“They stink!”
“What do you mean they suck? You’ve been in there messing with my computer, haven’t you?”
“I made some revisions to your article.”
He kissed me on the cheek and disappeared after turning into a northern fish crow, a bluebird, and a northern screech.
Last week it became a cheetah, cougar and jaguar before disappearing. The jaguar chased me to our cherry tree.
I decided to skip the truck wash. She was getting cloudy in the west and maybe it would rain. I got on the computer and read your article, which is as follows:
Futuristic concepts and dreams that will change the world, including eccentric and innovative ideas. by Xrytspet and John T. Jones, Ph.D.
To determine the future we went to the Synchronous Isentropic Time Warp Predictor and typed Land. Here is the impression of significant events:
March 2017: The Second Bush War (Iraq) ends. Casualties not counting the Iraqis (who do not count) were 12,337 Americans, 12 Australians, 987 British, 134 Bulgarians, 7 Danes, 9 Dutch, 14 Estonians, 9 Hungarians, 260 Italians, 3 Kazakhs, 4 Latvians, 174 Poles, 4 Salvadorans, 6 Slovaks, 11 Spaniards, 8 Thais and 18 Ukrainians.
April 2034: Bush’s Second War (Afghanistan) ends. Casualties not counting the citizens of Afghanistan (who do not count) were 1,250 Americans, 8 Australians, 12 British, 16 Canadians, 12 Danes, 14 French, 45 Germans, 16 Italians, 5 Norwegians, 7 Romanians, and 57 Spanish. There were also deaths of Pakistanis (which do not count).
January 2037: Cell phone production begins: Only 2.345 million phones were produced in 2036. The death toll from drivers using cell phones came to 52,617 deaths and 7,260,006 injuries.
November 2248: Post-revolutionaries try to bring freedom to the United States: Students at the University of Nevada, Tonopah, called on President Valerie Clinton, a descendant of President Hillary Rodman Clinton, to convince the 47 states that left the Union last year to come back and get Congress running again. The president said, “Are you kidding me? I can barely handle the three states that are left (Utah, Nevada and Idaho).”
October-December 2869: Meteor shower launches large over Aberdeen, Kansas and Aberdeen, Scotland. Most of the humanoids were killed in the two Aberdeens (and their surroundings) during the recent Rock show from the sky. A Mongolian horse breeder said, “Finally! Now maybe I can raise my horses in peace without those guys from National Geographic being here all the time.”
February 2356 – Nubian man creates fire by rubbing sticks together (also called Kush, Land of Kush, Te-Nehesy, Nubadae, Napata, or the Kingdom of Meroei): Amun-Pa de Batn El Hajar or “Belly of Rocks” has discovered fire, something we all forget. He lit a torch and ran to the sixth cataract over Khartoum. His race will be repeated at the First Nubian Olympics in September, in Khartoum, just after the hot season.
August 2459: All the glaciers in Antarctica have melted. Geologists predict good beach conditions east of the underwater community of Sacramento, CA and at lower elevations below Spruce Pine, NC.
June 2787 – Astronomers apologize for failing to predict the correct approach of asteroid Humongous last fall. Speaking on behalf of the scientist at Area 51 near Los Vegas, Nevada, Dr. Alice Brown-Jones, remote cousin of famous movie star, Catherine Zeta Jones, who we have been watching on our televisions for decades, said in a press conference this morning at 1:17 am that the trajectory of asteroid Humongous was incorrectly calculated last fall and that the asteroid was going to hit the dead center of the moon instead of grazing our land sucking ocean waters skyward . (That would have been quite a sight!) She said that scientists at Area 51 near Los Vegas were calculating the consequences of this, but she suggested that we all take action to know the consequences. Safe position of the nuclear age. As a public service we instruct you here with:
1. Find a sturdy table or desk. (If you have a choice, choose the one in the basement or basement.)
2. Sit under the desk or table.
3. Raise your legs up to your chin, but keep your legs apart just enough to kiss your butt goodbye.
end of registration
After reading this report, I felt very relieved. None of this would affect me much.
Copyright©John T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005
