When babysitters travel with kids: From vomiting to frost bites and all the whining in between
When you’re traveling with the kids as their babysitter, especially if the family you work for is wealthy, it’s unlikely that you’ll enjoy the same five-star vacation that everyone else in your group seemed to. I traveled with “Chase” and “Bobby” to take them to visit their dad who was working out of state, and it was more like being on call 24/7 for regular pay than anything I It looks like a vacation. Sometimes I can’t even remember which city I actually visited. But even though the trip was stressful at times and I had more responsibilities than ever before, I remember it as one of my favorite babysitting memories.
Traveling doesn’t have to be a complete hassle for the nanny. But unfortunately, a lot of this is usually damage control. Here are some tips to make it a little easier.
Lower expectations. Many people think that being a nanny for a wealthy or famous family is glamorous and has many advantages. The reality is that if you are lucky enough to find a very generous family, sometimes the advantages are ok. Otherwise, you’ll probably be working hard and so tired you won’t know you’re in Hawaii or Miami Beach or on a frozen movie set. Don’t go on vacation with the family expecting to be on vacation yourself. You are working. You can’t sunbathe and nap when you have to make sure the kids aren’t drowning in the kiddie pool, you can’t order a margarita because you’re working and the kids are always looking at you, you’ll be busy looking for scarves and sweaters and extra jackets when a nice spring day suddenly changes to 35 degrees and the kids are complaining that they are cold and dad is too busy looking at the papers and you can’t do anything or go anywhere the kids won’t enjoy themselves too much. If your family is kind enough to give you some time off during the trip (mine didn’t, the kids were mine to take care of every second of the trip), keep in mind that you will be alone in a strange city, unless you know someone over there. That’s not fun and can even be dangerous depending on where you are. So treat this vacation like another day at work. Bring your A game and be there for the kids and see your role as helping make the trip fun and exciting for them, and easier for their parents. If you enjoy the holidays a bit in the meantime, you’re in luck.
Talk to parents beforehand. Sit down with the parents and talk about their expectations for you on the trip. Will you be on call 24/7 or will you be off at a certain time? What will your sleeping arrangements be? (I slept in one full bed and Bobby and Chase in the other – this is a typical babysitter/child vacation arrangement.) If you are going to be working a lot more than usual, discuss how you will be compensated.
On the subject of compensation, remember that you are working on this journey. Your employer must pay for everything. In addition to doing personal shopping or taking the afternoon off for lunch with a friend who lives in town, insist on billing your employer for all vacation expenses if they aren’t already offered: food, transportation, attraction fees, toiletries for the children. he forgot to pick up at the hotel store etc. You didn’t ask to stay at the Ritz Carlton, so you shouldn’t have to pay for the $100 dinners that you and the kids had to order in the rooms. But make sure you and the kids aren’t throwing money around like it’s Monopoly. Even if your employer has encouraged you to be extravagant, you don’t have to go overboard. Anyway, this is a good lesson to teach children to be responsible and moderate, even if you are on vacation, and not throw money on silly things. Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu or a bunch of junk. Do not allow children to carry expensive movies or food into the room without permission. Tell them to call their parents and ask. Keep a folder with you to keep and document all your receipts in case you have to pay something out of pocket. Then turn them in on time to get paid. You are probably already very stressed and working very hard, it is not fair that you also have to pay your reasonable expenses.
Don’t expect parents to help. Depending on your family, you may receive little or no help from other adults on this journey. Dad may be working, Mom may be at the spa having her third massage and her fourth martini. It’s great if parents pitch in with the kids, but the truth is that some parents don’t necessarily want or can’t be babysitting for the entire vacation. That’s why they paid you to do it. Be prepared that you will have to do everything on your own for most of it. Don’t expect appreciation either. Many parents have never traveled with children without a babysitter, and frankly have no idea how difficult it is. I don’t think Chase and Bobby’s parents thanked me for flying them there to see their father. Maybe they saw it as unimportant. It is how it is.
Research the area ahead of time. Discover kid-friendly places to eat and a variety of attractions you could do.
Packaging. Pack as light as you can for yourself, because you’ll likely be carrying a lot of kid’s luggage, too. It’s unlikely you’ll need clubwear anyway because you’ll be with Chase all night when he’s throwing up that questionable cheesesteak he had. However, if the child is old enough to walk, he is old enough to carry some luggage, within reason. You’re his babysitter, not the doorman. Part of your job is to teach them to be responsible, and that includes carrying and keeping track of at least one bag of their own.
Airports. Chase and Bobby have traveled extensively internationally so I was lucky that they are great at airports and extremely patient. But for a child who isn’t, books, DVDs, puzzles, small toys, and snacks will help.
However, your number one job is to keep an eye on those kids and not lose anyone, or their tickets and IDs. If a child is crying and you need to show her passport, worry about the passport first. If your family can afford it, pay an airport employee to help escort the children to the gate. Chase and Bobby’s mother always uses this service, because she is very well known and she will be harassed if she has to wait in line with the rest of the peasants, and luckily she suggested that she use it too. Our escort was actually booked in her name, so the escort was hoping to meet a beautiful and famous hotshot. Her disappointment was evident when it was just me and some runny kids getting out of the car. An airport escort service allows you to bypass security, take the simplified route to your gate, and help you carry your luggage and onto the plane without any hassle. This way I could concentrate on the children.
Take photos. Even though you may be working, take time to take photos of the kids having fun. Parents are usually delighted to get these images. Take some of you and the children together for you. Many times, nannies work for a family for years and then realize they don’t even have a picture of them with the children. These little ones are part of your life and it’s okay to document it. My favorite picture of me, Chase, and Bobby is the three of us outside our hotel wearing these brand new T-shirts that they just bought with silly sayings on them. They look so cute, and it’s kind of a fun reminder of where we spend most of the trip: at the hotel.
Like I said, vacations are damage control. And you may be back at work the next day, so you won’t even have a chance to recover. Expect it to be difficult and exhausting, but if you can pull it off with relatively happy kids and parents, you’re doing great.
