An extraordinary experience that eased the burden of pain
For more than 25 years I have been studying the effects of Extraordinary Experiences (EE) of the afflicted. These events are spontaneous, not invoked, and those who experience them are convinced that they come from an external source: their deceased loved one or a Supreme Being.
There are numerous positive effects of these encounters, one of which is the sufferer’s conviction that the conscience survives bodily death and the loved one lives on. Here is an unusual EE that had three positive effects on the receptor in addition to the two just mentioned.
The recipient of this experience was a devoted wife and helped her husband for many months cope with prostate cancer. As she said, “Being present when he was dying was an incredibly profound experience that changed my life. However, I knew that his time was very short and that he would not die in my presence, as he wanted to spare me the sadness.” shortly after I went home that last night. “
In his own words, here is his Extraordinary Experience.
“My EE occurred approximately 30 hours after Peter’s death. I woke up around 7:00
am and saw my “Happy Birthday” balloon in my room. Had ordered flowers
and my birthday balloon two weeks earlier. I hadn’t bought a balloon for
years, but this one turned out to be significant. During the four days that he was home
hospice, hovered around the ceiling of the room where we spent time talking
and watching television (“hanging out,” he called it). This balloon had never left that
room earlier, and would have had to go up and down through two doors to get to
the bedroom so I knew it had to happen on its own.
When I saw the balloon that morning, I knew immediately that it was a message from him that he had reached his destination and he wanted to thank me for taking care of it. I went down a short hallway to the front door to get the newspaper, and when I got back, the balloon was in her bathroom. He had told me before that since his shower was better than mine, I should use his bathroom after he left. I felt like the balloon reminded me of that, so I took a shower there right away.
The rest of the morning the balloon would be in whatever room I was in, although I never saw it move. I would just look up and see it with me. This lasted a few hours, then it was over. The balloon lost all its air and to this day it rests on a shelf next to a jade plant on my sunroom. I felt that this episode was a moment of magic and joy in the midst of my new and overwhelming sadness. “
This experience was an important factor in how Marilyn was able to cope with her great loss. I asked her what was the most useful to her. She said: “The moment of the experience set the tone for my grieving process: happy images (balloon, etc.) immediately linked to sad ones (Peter’s moments of death). Furthermore, the encounter assured me that his suffering had finished., the details of this EE seemed designed by Peter to be a very personal and unique message to me. “
Understanding these three elements is essential. Setting the tone for grief means knowing that all is well, albeit sad, and that all is not lost. Peace of mind is an important factor in accepting your loss (an important grief task) knowing that your grief is over. And finally, realizing the personal meaning of the message adds to the reassurance and his belief that love is still alive.
Millions of people have lived experiences like Marilyn’s in different ways, from feeling the presence of the deceased or having a vision to hearing the voice of a loved one or experiencing a dream of visitation. The general public is unaware of the frequency of these contacts or the degree of help they provide to grieving people. They remain another example of the mystery of life.
