Do we become more or less tolerant as we get older?
One of the difficulties we have with the term ‘bigotry’ is that it is often confused with words like ‘anger’, ‘reluctantly’, ‘resentful’, ‘sulking’ and ‘prejudice’.
It seems that tolerance (or intolerance) varies from person to person and is a matter of personality and general temperament – there are individual differences at all age levels. Some consider that as we get older we become less tolerant: with trivial conversations, with those who are different from us, etc. However, others tolerate these things more easily and, as a general truth, soften with age, accepting that all kinds are needed in this world.
Research on whether we become more or less tolerant as we age is scant. Researchers at Ohio State University found that older adults tend to be more prejudiced than younger ones. The reason, the researchers explained, was that the old just can’t help it. There is also some research that suggests that as men age they become more rigid and intolerant. And, as women get older, they become more tolerant and flexible.
According to Los Angeles psychiatrist Mark Goulston, intolerant people tend to have some common characteristics. They can be fanatics, psychologically rigid, know-it-alls. They are generally lousy listeners, controlling, often jealous, can’t leave anything to chance, and (surprise, surprise) have tension in their relationships.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that we become more direct as we get older. If we are flying and the person sitting in front of us pushes their seat back, or in the movies, if someone is tapping the back of our seat with their feet, or if someone thinks everyone is interested in listening to their phone conversation, the old tend to talk.
It seems that if you want to avoid being intolerant of others, you have two main options: distance yourself or put up with them.
