How to Play Together and Stay Together (PTST): 5 Meeting Strategies
Happy Connect Wednesday! It’s been a few weeks since I connected with you and I must say I miss talking to you. However, the good thing about being connected is that we always have another opportunity to reconnect. Yesterday I contacted a friend of mine whom I had not spoken to in many months. However, because we were friends, our conversation fell into place as if we had spoken yesterday.
How many of you have friends, family, and maybe even former classmates or colleagues that you’ve lost touch with? I’m sure you have at least one person you’d like to reconnect with. Well, for the next 5 weeks I am going to share 5 simple strategies on how to build, maintain and strengthen the relationship of any group! Basically, I’m going to teach you “How to Play Together and Stay Together” (PTST)!
Strategy #1: Get together!
“80% percent of life satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships” B. Tracy
The first step in learning how to PTST with any group is to first MEET! Now this may seem pretty obvious, but it’s also the hardest of the 5 strategies to pull off. Why? Because unfortunately, leisure is no longer something that is valued. Society, as a whole, does not see the need or the meaning of having leisure in their lives.
Gatherings are simply leisure events simply to allow everyone to “get together” or “get together” after being apart for a period of time. Getting together or getting together should be a priority and not an afterthought!
So you need to PLAN a recurring event (monthly, yearly and biannually) so you can “check in” WITH THEM. If it’s been a year, two years, or even 10 years since you last saw each other, then it’s time to catch up! So many things have happened to you, your family and friends. This is the perfect time to update everyone on those celebrations! Meetings can help people balance their lives and help us achieve a better quality of life. So step up and take on the role of GROUP CONNECTOR and get everyone together regularly, so you can interact socially WITH THEM, improve communication WITH THEM, and have fun WITH THEM!
Strategy #2: PLAY!
“It is better to play than to do nothing.” ~Confucius
The second strategy of the PTST is PLAY! Now I’m sure most of you are thinking that this is a youth strategy. However, PLAY is not silly, but a very serious concept. PLAY is fundamental to human existence! Think of the best memories of your childhood: I bet you were playing!
A very positive feature of the game is that it has the ability to create order. PLAY has its own rules. With this, seriousness and order are inherent and rules are established. As a result, the most important feature of PLAY is that it has the power to separate itself from ordinary life. So during PLAY you can forget about the day-to-day hassles: bills, deadlines and schedules. You can enjoy your group 100% without the distractions of life.
Because PLAY has its own rules, it is capable of breaking down barriers. It doesn’t matter if you are 5 years old or 80 years old, the game can bring you closer together and create understanding. Recreation, or PLAY, improves the general well-being of all participants, regardless of the activity. Through organized activity, the personal goal of health, the building of relationships, and the growth and learning of individuals are created and maintained.
How many meetings or other meetings have you attended that were just plain boring? Nothing to do but eat and maybe talk? Did she venture outside of her family group and talk to new people? Did you feel that she could have saved money and travel time because she could have done the same by staying home? Bottom line: PLAY makes meetings more interesting!
Strategy #3: GET INVOLVED!
“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” ~Plato
We have learned that to play together and stay together (PTST) we must #1-GET TOGETHER and then add #2-PLAY. These two strategies provide a wonderful opportunity for the next strategy to play out. Strategy #3 is GET INVOLVED! Getting involved is an active action. It requires some work on your part as an individual member of your group. You have to deliberately enter the game! So why do some people jump easily and others have a hard time getting off the park bench? It is not that one person is more sociable than the other, or that one is less willing than the other. The reason some members get involved and others don’t is about one thing: motivation!
There is a psychological basis for participation in leisure activities, also known as motivation. The reason we get up and participate (or not participate) is because we are intrinsically motivated or extrinsically motivated in leisure and recreation. If you are intrinsically motivated, then there is something inside of you that pushes you to get involved. For example, achievements driven by a sense of mastery, competence, or self-determination are intrinsically driven. Extrinsic motivation, however, is when external factors such as rewards or contingencies are the main reason for engaging in leisure. So what drives you to get involved?
Strategy #4: FLOW!
“The ego vanishes. Time flies. Every action, movement and thought inevitably follows the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved and you are using your abilities to the fullest.” ~Csikszentmihalyi
Strategy #4 is FLOW! There has to be a marriage between the strategies. Just like in a marriage, there should be a devoted relationship between #2-PLAY and #3-GET INVOLVED! Hungarian psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced chick-sent-me-high-ee-bite, right?), thinks up the idea of FLOW in his “Flow Theory”. FLOW is defined as “being fully involved in an activity for its own sake.” It is a state of consciousness in which you are totally absorbed in what you are doing. All other thoughts or emotions are excluded. During FLOW, time can stop or move incredibly fast. Your group should be having such a good time that they won’t want the meeting to end!
To promote FLOW there also needs to be a balance of skill and challenge in each activity. If the challenges are too high, people may feel some kind of anxiety and if the challenges are too low, some people may experience boredom. Each activity must imply a level of creativity, challenge and happiness for all the members. So avoid scheduling a chess tournament if only one member of the family knows the rules. Make sure your games or activities during PLAY reflect a balance so that everyone wants to PARTICIPATE!
So why is strategy #4 important in a meeting? Well, FLOW has the power to free one from fear or failure and replace it with a sense of empowerment and now that we’ve involved PLAY in our meeting, participants will be able to gain feelings of personal satisfaction as they engage. WE PLAY to have fun… but we also PLAY to win!
So, we’ve talked about the importance of strategies #1-Meet, #2-Play, #3-Engage, and #4-Flow. Remember them when planning for each generation (if there is more than one) represented at your meeting. Provide the right activities to match the skill level of the participants and challenge them enough to do their best to win. Everyone should leave feeling like a winner! Those who experience FLOW will look for it again. You want to make sure they know they can experience it at your annual meeting again and again!
#5-Stay together!
“Win together, lose together, play together, stay together.” ~Debra Mancuso
The strategies provided have been developed to help you and THEM build, strengthen, and maintain your relationships through meetings. Strategies 1-4 allow everyone to come together, reconnect, have fun and be in the moment while building memories with those who matter most.
The final strategy for learning to PTST is #5-STAND TOGETHER! Unfortunately, this step is often lost at the end of meetings. After the last hot dog is eaten and the last game is played, everyone disperses and goes back to their busy lives. Lives filled with responsibilities that leave little or no room to maintain the bonds that PSTS has helped you and THEM build.
Absence makes the heart grow bigger, but what’s out of sight doesn’t have to be out of mind and you don’t have to wait until the next meeting to connect with your loved ones. There are many ways to BE TOGETHER, or connected, without doing it physically. Thanks to constant improvements in technology. It’s easier than ever to stay connected to our demanding lives. Here are 6 tips to help you and THEM stay connected until the next meeting:
1. Group Website – Hosting a family website is a great way to share information. Members can post photos and ads throughout the year. How nice would it be to be able to share the precious moments in each other’s lives? Share small victories, graduations, newcomers and weddings with THEM throughout the year.
2. Group Newsletter – Whether printed or electronic, a newsletter is another convenient way to stay connected. Groups can even outsource this task. Ask them to submit information they think is newsworthy and have a professional compile the information and send it out as a newsletter.
3. Group Emails – Make sure you get email addresses before leaving the meeting. Don’t be afraid to send them a note letting them know you’re thinking of them. Email is another great way to stay in touch with little to no effort.
4. Social networks: create a group page on Facebook, make it exclusive for THEM. Twitter is also a good option. Start following the people you know, love and admire.
5. Mini Gatherings: Plan a little trip or meet up with those who live nearby and you may not see often. You may not be able to get hundreds of people together, but you can get a smaller group of THEM together for fun and entertainment.
And, for those who aren’t tech savvy:
6. Pick up the phone: In the age of online media, email, and text messaging, we sometimes forget about those who aren’t tech-savvy. Call one of THEM.
Recreation and leisure are essential to building strong communities. Leisure is meant to empower the community and its members. So, after all the hard work of COMING TOGETHER, PLAYING, GETTING INVOLVED and being in FLOW, you must not forget that you did all this for the greatest result, which is STAYING TOGETHER. Therefore, promise yourself that you will stay connected WITH THEM throughout the year. Most importantly, don’t forget to save the date for next year’s reunion: there’s nothing better than looking forward to seeing them again.
